Standing here on my own,
Forgot who I used to be.
I ever thought of everything I've been through,
But I never thought I would be stuck in this mess.
I'm so sick of wondering.

Let's end this story soon.
Burn this fairytale in flames.
Memories turn to ashes,
Drifting aimlessly in the air.
I left something that will mean everything before I go.

Take what you will, what you will and leave.
Could you kill, could you kill me if the world was on fire,
And nothing was left but hope or desire.
And take all that I could bring forth, is this hell?
Or am I on the floor over-desperate?

And then take full weight of me.
Guard my dreams, figure this out,
It's me on my own. Helpless, hurting.
Hell, could I stay strong as you figured?
Cause I'm stranded and bare.
Meanness is washed up in all that I am.
Take this and all,
Then grace takes me to a place I've never been.
Ripping, breaking and tearing apart.
This is not heaven,
It's hell, my friend.

Dream of you, locked inside my mind you'll hide.

I'm still not feeling well.
Well, since Monday I guess.
One more bloody week till common test,
And guess what, I haven't revised yet.

Somebody get me through this nightmare.

It's been a emotional week for me.
So many things, new stuff going in my head.
Things that are better not known off.
All I just wish if for this dream to happen.
Not this nightmare.

This practice called love.
Once you having, never let it got.
Finding love is like finding yourself,
It's right in front of you, but you don't notice it.
But what seems so obvious, isn't what you're seeing actually.

Love is a Serpent,
It wraps itself around me,
Snapping bones & crushing organs,
So asphyxiating.

The fang's of heartache.
Tears my flesh,
Poison rushes through my body,
Paralyzing every limb.

Despair devours my Soul,
Heartbreak is so fatal.
Poison corrodes my life,
But it doesn't seem to matter,
Because I can't feel anymore.

All I could see around me is heartache, pain, sorrow and despair.
Drown myself in pain, sorrow and despair, fade away silently.
Hopefully I catch a glimpse of you before I go.
Well, hopefully that glimpse could be something more,
So much more.

Well, I'm not feeling well today.
Or I can say I'm not feeling well yesterday also.
Having sore throat, damn bad.

Again, what has been happening around me seems to be transparent.
Everyday filled with assignments and projects.
How I wish I could stop time, rewind it back to the past and change it.
I would not be the person I am today,
Well perhaps I could be even better, or worse.

How some would wish to change there past, for something better.
If one really does, the present would change also.
Obviously there would be somethings that I would like to change about my past.
One of which would be my PSLE results.
Changing that would change the person I am now.
I'm so not your typical malay.

Next change would be my O'level results.
That means I won't likely be where I am today, in Nanyang Polytechnic.
Doing engineering, not playing rugby and falling for someone.
Okay, you can ignore that falling for someone part.
It's not who you guys think yeah, but I do miss her.


I feel it everyday, it's all the same.
It brings me down but I'm the one to blame.
I've tried everything to get away.
So here I go again,
Chasing you down again.
Why do I do this?

So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head.
I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead.
I know what's best for me,
But I want you instead.

So apparently I have been missing in action(MIA) for a few days.
Well okay a whole week I suppose.
I had a leadership camp last weekend, nothing much really.
What do you expect from a leadership camp?
Night walk for East Coast Park to Changi Beach, kayaking, campfire.
To me it was still okay, been through worse before,
Nevertheless it was a very good experience for me.
But I came home drop dead tired.

You probably wondering where am I right now.
This is the first time I'm blogging in my school library.
And it's 1130am now, when most of the time I blog late at night.
School hasn't been that fun anymore.
So many things happened in just a few weeks time.

Seriously I'm damn busy with school work and stuff.
I've been thinking too much lately again.
How your heart and mind works is seriously contradicting.
It's been awhile since I saw her, so she slowly fades away.
But she still be in my head, for the times we laughed together.

What makes my current situation now is even more screwed up.
This totally doesn't compute at all.
So 1 + 1 = 2 right,
How does not seeing someone awhile, makes you like another someone?
I have a choice to make, now or never.
And hopefully I won't make the wrong choice.

Apparently I've chosen the alternative.
False hope is still hope, close your eyes just dream.
Hold tight and never let it go.
I've made that mistake 3 times.
Let's not make it happen again.

Shiat, I'm uttering nonsense.

A weekend filled with fun, fun and more fun.
I totally forgot about school and what so ever.
Playground is Lomotion's 2nd anniversary exhibition.
In simple words, it was bloody incredible!
And I came out in the news, on Suria that is, with Mafie and Saiful.
Pretty amazing, I sound so different.

So we had a sleep over at Jordan's place.
Talked about guitars, cameras and loads of nonsensical stuff,
Not forgetting we played PS3, cool stuff he has.
I was pretty much damn high at 3am, seems normal to me.

Didn't sleep the whole night, had supper at 3am at Mac'Donalds.
Left Jordan's place at 8am, cabbed to Calvin place.
I totally knocked out on his couch, woke up around 3pm.
Then off to playground again.

Now, back to reality.
Work, work and more work.
I need to print my photos soon, for my portfolio.
Goodbye fantasy, hello reality.
I seriously miss her, okay that was damn random.

I'm dead tired for this past week.
So many bloody things to do and complete within weeks.
Seriously it's not helping me much when I haven't complete my folio yet.
Life sucks, well a quote for someone.

Life without sports i s damn boring.
I really need to get back in shape, floorball or whatever sport.
I'm considering of joining Bedok Kings Rugby Club.
Well, since Singapore Cricket Club haven't offered me their membership.

Sometimes some secrets are meant to be kept, and not be told.
If the beans are spilled, what will happen would be disastrous.
Anger, hatred fills one heart and friendships crushed.
So the saying 'What you don't know, can't hurt you' really is true.
Secrets makes life dangerous, seriously dangerous.

Playground Exhibition is in 24 hours time.
Okay, I really need sleep, a really good rest.

So finally November is here, so what?
Seriously I really need to start revising.
Complete my portfolio, check on logistics stuff for Showtime,
And choose a song to sing for Orion 2008.
Yes people I'm joining Orion, doing a duet with a friend of mine.

So pretty hell of a month for me.
And I still need to see my mentor for some admin stuff,
Of which some of you should know.
I'll still having doubts if I should move on as planned.
Definitely I'll miss Team NYP the most.
Until the news is confirmed, let's try not to tell everyone yeah.

On the other hand, Playground exhibition is in 5 days.
Of course I will be down for the opening, since I'm appearing in it.
Okay, suddenly I'm in the mood for writing originals.
I shall go and find my handy-dandy notebook.

And not forgetting, Martell sucks.